


of expectation (and reality)

by 12Redsky34



Category: Pocket Monsters: Sword & Shield | Pokemon Sword & Shield Versions
Genre: Gen, Isle of Armor SPOILERS, Non-Binary Player Character, Pokemon Sword & Shield Expansion Pass: The Isle of Armor, Pokemon Sword & Shield Spoilers, Read at Your Own Risk, Selectively Mute Player Character, Spoilers, but my muse grabbed me by the nose and dragged me along for the ride, cause i might as well make them relatable for everyone, cause why not, don't really need context to read and mostly understand but yea, i have no idea what exactly prompted this, otherwise this is basically just really introspective fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:07:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25178908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/12Redsky34/pseuds/12Redsky34
Summary: Avery has known from a young age that he’s a disappointment to his family. Under the careful tutelage of Dojo Master Mustard, he can see the future so much clearer now than he did when he was a child, even barely in his twenties when he started his job as a Gym Trainer, and he’s almost ready to make it a reality.And then…Thatperson arrives.--------------------A self-fulfilling introspective look at Avery
Relationships: Player Character & Savory | Avery
Comments: 7
Kudos: 52





	of expectation (and reality)

**Author's Note:**

> **Attention!!** Just a couple things before you jump into reading this to clarify a few things, especially if you missed the tags.
> 
>  **1) The "player character" is made up, non-binary, and selectively mute.** I didn't want to have to make the decision between the boy or girl character, so I just went with neither. I also made them selectively mute, first because I felt like it was more interesting to write and second because I'm pretty sure you as a character don't talk a lot. So yeah. Selectively Mute character.
> 
>  **2) I am well aware there is no canon age for Avery at the time of writing.** I don't know why I decided to specify his age, but just picked a number that seemed reasonable enough considering his canon backstory and mannerisms and just went with it.
> 
> Other than that, I hope you enjoy! It's not my first Pokemon fic (omg my old ones are years old please ignore them) but it's the first one I've done focusing on NPC characters in the games themselves instead of characters from the anime, and the first I've done for Sword/Shield.
> 
> Happy Reading!!
> 
> * * *
> 
>  _[Text like this]_ signifies the use of sign language.  
>  _"[Text like this]"_ signifies the use of speech alongside sign language.

Avery has known from a young age that he’s a disappointment to his family. He knows they expect many things from him, great things that he wants nothing more than to live up to, but no matter how hard he tries, he simply never seems able to satisfy them. His time spent as a Gym Trainer was a disaster, admittedly, and he realises now that his behaviour upon losing was less than savory. It still leaves his chest aching when he thinks on the day he had his Gym Trainer status officially revoked. Really, the only reason he starts to see his goals become a possibility is thanks to Dojo Master Mustard.

Avery may lack many psychic abilities shared amongst his family, but he can still sense the innate power lurking and roiling under Mustard’s skin, and he knows the man is far more powerful than he ever lets on. None of the other dojo students truly seem to realise just who Mustard is despite their constant claims that he is truly strong. Avery may not know the truth, but he knows enough. He also knows that Mustard can teach him enough to make him a Gym Leader. He can see the future so much clearer now than he did when he was a child, even barely in his twenties when he started his job as a Gym Trainer, and he’s almost ready to make it a reality.

And then…  _ That _ person arrives.

He’s sent by Honey to accompany the newest apprentice to the Dojo, which he finds unnecessary since it’s not that far from the terminal station, but he supposes he can understand having an escort in unfamiliar lands. He arrives, waits for the newcomer to come out so he can greet them appropriately, and when they’re ten minutes late and counting, he goes inside to see if they need help or if they just didn’t show up.

He’s met with an unassuming figure, their body nearly swamped in a faded black jacket with a loose red undershirt and denim pants, their wavy, pitch-black hair falling around their face and between their eyes.

He only sees one other guest in the terminal and they’re looking at their phone, perhaps a little too intensely, but Avery doesn’t really have a right to judge considering he knows he can act a little odd to others too. The person standing in front of him is staring, looking mildly confused.

He resists the urge to sneer. They look painfully average, but he’s sure Mustard will make at least a decent trainer out of them after a year or two. He’s also inclined to see the confused stare as another stranger looking at his admittedly unusual clothing choices and write him off as a weirdo, but their gaze is fixed steadily on his face instead of wandering around his various articles of clothing. He supposes he can respect them for that much. It’s not every day he meets someone who hardly blinks at his appearance.

He’s also getting the strangest sense of deja-vu whenever he looks at them, but he can’t recall where he’d ever have met them, so he brushes it off.

“You’re the traveller I’m supposed to guide, am I right?” He pointedly leaves out the fact that they are late, but what is more baffling is that they still look awfully confused for what he feels is a very normal encounter. “My name is Avery. I am a senior member of the dojo you are to join.”

He watches their stormy grey eyes widen as some kind of realisation comes to them, and he thinks they’re finally catching on, but their gaze flicks to the other occupant of the station for a split second with something like panic before looking back at him. To his surprise, their hands lift and begin signing to him.

_ [I’m sorry, but I think you have the wrong person.] _

Well. It’s been a while since Avery met anyone who communicated primarily in sign language, but he’s been sure to keep up to date on the language since there are plenty of people all around the world who use it. It would be remiss of him to let it grow stale in his mental stores. He does a quick re-evaluation of them, considering the possibility that they may be deaf for a moment but concluding that it is unlikely since they responded to his question without his own use of sign. Of course, they could simply be good at reading lips, so he lifts a brow and raises his own hands to mimic the words he speaks.

_ “[You’re here to join the Master Dojo, are you not? I also train there.]” _ He says and signs. They look both shocked and tentatively happy at the revelation that he is fluent in their primary language.  _ “[Would you prefer I continue speaking or communicate with sign language as you do?]” _

They shake their head and sign a quick  _ [You can speak, I hear just fine, thank you,] _ but continue to look confused and just a little alarmed. Avery does not understand why. Surely his reason for standing before them is clear. Are they thick? Slow on the uptake? If that’s the case, then it’s his duty as an elegant, upstanding adult of twenty five to guide them and make sure they get the message without any doubt in their mind.

Avery puts on a friendly smile, at least he hopes it comes across as such, and turns back to face them. “Perhaps a show of strength is the best way to get to know each other. I’ll let you have a moment to get ready, and once you are, come outside to face me.”

He strides outside the doors of the terminal without waiting for a response, secure in the knowledge that he will emerge the victor. He quickly finds that he should not have been so confident. They don’t even use any type advantages, simply sending out their Inteleon, but it soundly beats both his Abra and his Slowpoke.

And he realises with something ugly twisting in his stomach that this person, who is most certainly much younger than him and has most certainly never faced hardship close to what he has, is  _ better than him. _ At this rate, if they join the dojo, they’ll easily catch Mustard’s attention, and he’ll fall to the side, painfully inadequate and forgettable. He can’t let that happen. He can’t be a disappointment again, not after his first failure to act as a competent Gym Trainer.

His plan to keep them away from the dojo fails, as do many of his other attempts to thwart the newcomer - he learns that their name is Alex - over the following week as Mustard assigns missions to them. He is shocked but begrudgingly grateful when they reclaim his stolen uniform from Mustard’s Slowpoke, despite the fact he ends up never wearing it, but it is still incredibly frustrating when Alex continues to come out on top through the multiple trials and battles they’re faced with. He gets his one victory over them when Honey allows the use of his hard-earned Max Mushrooms during the second trial, but that is as close to winning as he’s ever gotten when it involves them.

It’s only a little bit of a relief when he watches, wide-eyed, as Alex and Mustard engage in one of the most intense battles he’s ever laid eyes on. Their moves hit  _ hard, _ every time, kicking up dust and debris from the gigantic battlefield they stand on. Their Pokemon trade blows as if it’s life or death, striking where their opponents hurt the most, and it’s as he’s watching that he realises he failed to recognise an immense underlying current of power, not entirely unlike Mustard, swirling and boiling to overfull under Alex’s skin.

The relief, however minor, is from a sense of inevitability. Avery has never seen anyone make the Dojo Master fight so seriously before, no punches pulled. If Alex is strong enough to stand up to Mustard, like no one else in the dojo can manage, then it’s only inevitable, a fact of life, that he would lose to them so much. It makes his accomplishment with those stupid Max Mushrooms seem all that more impressive in hindsight.

He also realises that Alex had been holding back on him. In every battle they’ve had with Avery, he’s only seen their Inteleon, Thievul, and Sylveon, each requiring obvious care to evolve to their final stages but not so much that any average trainer can’t manage it with time. He sees their final three party members in this fight; a Corviknight, notorious for their stubborn disposition yet following each of Alex’s commands without hesitation, an Appletun, hard to find as Applin and even harder to evolve thanks to their refined taste in food, and a Milotic, known region and even worldwide for their beauty, but equally known for their similar difficulty to evolve to that stage from their beginnings as Feebas.

Their fight ends with Alex the victor, and Mustard looks absolutely  _ delighted. _ Avery doesn’t know how he feels about it, so he shoves the emotions away to process later and manages his own version of a congratulations and a vow to become strong enough to beat them one day. They smile at him, with an emotion he can’t read, and he has to leave before his facade cracks completely in front of everyone. So he does, he leaves the battlefield, exits the dojo, and just… Picks a direction and walks. He’s earned permission from Mustard long ago to have one of his partners accompany him on the island outside the confines of their pokeball at any time, so he contemplates which one would be best company right now and immediately decides on his trusty starter, now a Slowbro after the intense training he underwent over the last month in his efforts to surpass Alex.

Slowbro blinks slowly at him when he’s released from his pokeball, likely sees that Avery is in a particular mood, but as usual, simply falls into step with him as he wanders the wilds of the island. He doesn’t know exactly how long he spends there, but eventually he finds himself by one of the many beaches surrounding the island, sitting atop a large rock where most wild pokemon won’t bother him, with his Slowbro sitting right there next to him.

He thinks of the first time he met Alex in that terminal, the strange deja-vu, the fact he didn’t notice the latent power under their skin, so similar yet so different from Mustard, thinks of all the times they looked at him with this strange, content happiness despite all the antagonistic ways he treated them with. He doesn’t really understand many people, and he tries to accept them as best he can, but Alex is a new brand of baffling that he isn’t used to and even a month into interacting with them on a near-daily basis, he can’t seem to figure them out.

One question that keeps nagging on his mind, though… Where on earth did Alex even  _ come from? _ How did they get so strong? Were they always like that? Had they even taken part in the Gym Challenge? Had he unknowingly met them during his time as a Gym Trainer and forgotten? If that was the case, it would explain the strange deja-vu he experiences every time he looks at them.

Speaking of the gym challenge… He really should catch up with this season’s participants and how the finals went. He’s heard much talk of Leon being overthrown, an unbelievable concept on its own, but he does want to find out who could have possibly beaten him. He wonders if Alex could beat both Leon and the new Champion.

There’s sudden movement to his side, and he flinches, expecting a wild pokemon that got brave enough to get close. A second later he sees that it’s the subject of his thoughts, their neutral grey stare surveying the surrounding area before settling on him. At their side is their Sylveon, who tilts its head up at him and chirps a friendly greeting.

“Do you need something?” He mumbles, looking back out over the beach and the calm seas as they finish getting comfortable beside him. He glances at them to watch their hands as they respond.

  
  
_ [I don’t know. Do you want me to leave you alone?] _

He considers this for a moment.  _ Does _ he want to be left alone? He doesn’t really know one way or another, so he shrugs. “Do as you like.”

There’s several minutes of silence after that, as Alex is apparently content to sit there with him and watch their surroundings as he was doing before. He’s not as uncomfortable as he thinks he should be, so he simply resumes his own quiet observations. Eventually, there’s a shuffle and a couple knocks against the stone beside him. He looks at Alex to see them staring at him expectantly. He blinks at them, waiting for them to lift their hands and sign to him.

_ [Expectations can be stifling. Especially from people who… Don’t have your best interests at heart.] _

That was the last thing Avery expected from them. He stared for a moment, uncomprehending, before his eyes narrow in suspicion. “And what would you know of such things?”

They tilt their head for a moment, contemplative, before they give their response.

_ [Would you be willing to listen to what I have to say for a few minutes?] _ They ask.

Avery thinks this is a silly question. “Of course. What is it you want to say?” Their lips quirk at him slightly before smoothing back to a neutral expression.

_ [I didn’t really have many ambitions growing up. My parents obviously wanted me to be successful in something, but they also just wanted me to be happy. So I didn’t really have the pressure of expectation on me to begin with. At least, before I started my first Gym Challenge.] _ They begin, their signs smooth and clear. Avery frowns, unsure how any of this has anything to do with their conversation, but he promised he would listen, so he continues to watch without comment.  _ [I’m sure you’re aware, but participating in the Gym Challenge comes with all manner of publicity and, along with that, expectations. It was the first time I had so many strangers want to know about my personal business, and I got judged for many things I couldn’t control. Like you.] _

Avery feels his throat tighten at the realisation that they must  _ know _ about his failures. He feels rage and shame clog his lungs, and he swallows heavily. “How do you know about my previous status?” He demands,  _ daring _ them to say anything depreciating about him. They just smile at him, which is somehow more infuriating.

_ [No one told me, not outright at least. Mustard mentioned a couple things and that’s just what I inferred.] _ Alex assures, their Sylveon cooing and wrapping its ribbons around both their and Avery’s arms gently. He feels a calming sensation spread through his limbs, and it becomes a little easier to breathe.  _ [It’s not a bad thing to fail. It’s not your fault that the people around you expect too much. Not everyone can do the same things as others, but that makes everyone unique. For what they may lack in one regard, they make up for it in others.] _ They continue.  _ [I don’t know what everyone thought you lacked, but I can promise that there is plenty in you that makes up for it. It can take time to find those things, but they’re there, somewhere.] _ They pause to reach a tentative hand out, watching his reaction, before gently pressing their palm to the area of his chest just over his heart as a means of emphasising their point.

Avery swallows and searches for the words he needs to express his many thoughts. There are several, some he’s unsure he’ll ever be able to voice, but he manages to cling to one and find the words he needs. “What do my own shortcomings have anything to do with your upbringing? What are you trying to tell me?”

Alex smiles.  _ [Because I may not have known the pressure of expectations before, but I do now.] _

Avery frowns. Something still isn’t adding up. “Even Gym Challengers don’t face that much scrutiny for the most part, not unless it’s clear they’re someone special from the start.” He says. It’s not meant as a way to devalue their experiences, and he realises he may have come across that way just now, but Alex gives him an understanding smile and shakes their head, hands moving once more.

_ [You met Hop earlier, Leon’s little brother. We grew up in the same town together. Leon endorsed us both.] _

Avery recalls the boisterous teen that was currently staying in their dojo, for a research project as far as he understands, and remembers the comfortable way the two interacted with each other despite the opposing forces of seemingly endless energy and enthusiasm contrasted with their constant calm and patience. He also recalls that Alex didn’t sign with Hop, they spoke aloud, though with such a soft voice that he barely heard them speaking most times. He feels he would probably ask anyone else to speak up if they used such a soft voice, but Hop seemed completely unbothered. Avery wonders what makes Alex comfortable enough to speak with anyone besides their Pokemon, like they did with Hop, and who else they potentially feel comfortable enough around to speak aloud to. He files the thought away to turn over in his head later.

More than that though, he understands what they’re saying a little better. An endorsement from the (former) Champion himself would garner them a lot of attention and expectation to live up to all kinds of preconceived notions. “Since you’re close to the former Champion Leon, then, are you familiar with the new Champion?”

Alex smiles again, wider than he’s ever seen from them, looking incredibly amused for some reason.  _ [You could say that.] _

And isn’t that just cryptic.

Alex continues before he can respond to that.  _ [The point is… I didn’t have very many passions growing up, but I knew I loved and still love Pokemon, and that I wanted to do something involving them. Hop proposed the idea of us both pursuing the Gym Challenge, and I didn’t have any better ideas at the time, so I accepted and went through with it.] _

Avery tilts his head. “How far did you get, anyway?”

_ [I completed all eight gyms and participated in the finals.] _

Avery stares, sure he’s understood their signs wrong for a moment. Obviously completing all eight gyms qualifies a Gym Challenger to participate in the semi-final championships, but to be a finalist means you face the Champion themselves. And Alex was a finalist, and Leon had just been overthrown, and if Avery had never heard of Alex before now thanks to Mustard hogging the television all the time, then that meant…

“You’re the new champion.” He managed to choke out, something like horror spreading through his limbs like ice-cold fingers. He’d looked at Alex and assumed they were unimportant, and treated them as such. Oh god, how many times had he looked the Champion in the face and borderline insulted them!?

There’s a soft chuckle from Alex at what must be the obvious horror on his face, a quiet huff of soft breath, before they shake their head at him, smile still steadily in place.  _ [Don’t think about it too much, Avery.] _ They sign. He immediately opens his mouth to retort that he should  _ absolutely _ think about how rude he was to someone so important, but they wave their hands for him to wait before signing again. He lets them, embarrassment and a new kind of shame warming his whole face.  _ [It was actually a relief to meet someone like you, Avery. It’s been too long since someone who wasn’t family or a friend looked at me like I’m just another person and not some invincible paragon of strength.] _ Something sad pulls at their expression now, and their gaze wanders away from Avery’s face.  _ [I’m barely an adult. I… I admit I’m strong, probably more than should be reasonable for someone my age, and I was in the middle of the whole Dynamax fiasco that took place while I was doing my Gym Challenge, but I’m still just a human. I’m not invincible or infallible, but people expect me to be, and part of being Champion is keeping the public’s minds at ease. So, I have an immense set of expectations to act like I’m something I’m not.] _

They look at him again, this time in a way that seems to peer right through his eyes and into his soul. He resists the urge to shudder. The moment passes and Alex lets their gaze wander to their surroundings again.

_ [So, I get it. Expectations, unrealistic ones, they’re unfair and exhausting. But just because someone had some for you in the past and they pushed you away for things you can’t control, doesn’t mean you can’t find your worth elsewhere. Hop wanted more than anything to become Champion like his brother, but we went through a lot of events that put many things into better perspective for him, so he joined Sonia as a researcher. Now he’s putting his efforts into becoming a Pokemon Professor.] _

Avery stared silently. Now it made sense why the energetic teen was there to begin with, when he thought he was some trainer on a weird passion project. Evidently, with the amount of surprises jumped on him today, Avery needs to re-evaluate the first impressions he puts on people.

_ [It’s alright if you treat me differently now,] _ Alex continues,  _ [but I’m glad you could treat me like just another person to compete with, even for just a little while. I had a lot of fun, and I’m glad I could meet you.] _ They smile wider, soft and genuine.  _ [I’m excited to see where your path takes you, be it as a new Psychic-type Gym Leader, or something else. You have a passion I don’t see often, Avery. That’ll take you far if you apply it the right way. Don’t forget that, okay?] _

Avery is overcome with a new emotion in that moment, and it takes a while to realise that it’s an immense sense of… Relief? Joy? He isn’t sure, but it’s intense, and it takes more effort than he likes to hold back the stinging that takes over his eyes. Alex’s Sylveon coos at him again and coils its ribbon a little further from his wrist up his forearm, giving him soothing little squeezes every so often.

“Okay.” He promises. “I’ll… I’ll remember what you told me.”

Alex gives him a second genuine smile, filled with a simple happiness, and Avery mentally vows in that moment to do anything in his power to be the best Psychic Type Gym Leader in Galar. He’s known for a while that other paths are technically possible for him to pursue, but he has many reasons for continuing to try and follow in his family’s footsteps, and now he has one more reason that he feels is too important to let down.

For the first time in a while, this expectation doesn’t feel so stifling.

There’s an excited exclamation from behind them, and he turns with Alex to watch as their friend, Hop, runs up to them with a wide grin on his face. “Alex, Alex! I saw a rare Pokemon in the forest! You gotta come see it, quick!”

Alex nods and stands, their Sylveon untangling their ribbons from them both and rising by their side. Avery watches them lift their hands in his direction once more,  _ [Take care. We’ll see each other again soon, I think.] _

Avery watches Alex hop off the rock they were sat on for who knows how long now before sprinting after Hop’s quickly retreating figure with their Sylveon right at their side. He stares at the place where their figures disappear into the distance, then stares back at the calm waves of the ocean before him, stares as the sun begins to set below the horizon, the landscape of Galar’s main continent visible far in the distance.

And, despite everything, he feels light.

**Author's Note:**

> I have a [discord server](https://discord.gg/S2crZ8g) but it's primarily for My Hero Academia. Feel free to join a chat if you like regardless :D


End file.
